We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize