so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
