Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
no you cant smoke seaweed
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
