hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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