Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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