i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
