Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
