I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Randomize