kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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