What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
