can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
