After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Too much gin, very little bucket
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
