24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
