I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
