My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize