i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
