I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
you traded sex for a burrito?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
