Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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