Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
