There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
how drunk are you?
Several
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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