then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
