i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
