I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
