8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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