Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize