You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
