Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
