is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize