He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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