Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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