We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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