i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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