i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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