my mouth tastes like poor choices
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
