That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
