Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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