Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
