you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
