I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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