remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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