yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
