yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
