I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
