Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
