Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I did not marry a roomba.
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