Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
