C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
