she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
