we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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