Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I touched a dick in church today
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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