I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
