whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
