my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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