He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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