your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
