is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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