naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
This is classic penis vs brain.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
