normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
