Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
