It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
