So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
