what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
