i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize