I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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