Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize