will power is for people who don't want to get laid
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
