i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
