there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
