It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize