We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We just shotgunned beers for America
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
