But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
